View previous topic :: View next topic |
Author |
Message |
iflytb20 Member

Joined: 27 Jan 2007 Posts: 1079 Location: Next to the Airport
|
Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:57 pm Post subject: Letter from a retired Airline pilot to his peers. |
|
|
Wonder if this has been posted before. Tried a search but cam up with nothing. If the mods feel that this is a repeat post, please feel free to delete it.
---------------------------------
Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for the romance and adventure of airline flying. That "Romance and Adventure" will all come back to you if you follow the steps of this "practice trip" at home:
1. Stay out of bed all night.
2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.
3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.
4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.
5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.
6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.
7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.
8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car.
9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room.
10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say, "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places." as you collapse into bed.
11. If you are a purist, make this a two-day trip instead of a turn-around, and do this two nights in a row.
Hope you enjoy your sim session. _________________ Always do everything into wind...... except piss  |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
HAWK21M Member

Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 8132 Location: Mumbai, INDIA
|
Posted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:17 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Not bad......Need to add .....Keep your cellphone off  _________________ Think of the Brighter side !!! |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
stealthpilot Member

Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2325 Location: BLR, DXB
|
Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:53 pm Post subject: |
|
|
Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently = hahahahahaha
True true ... except the coffee bit. It comes in nice and hot but you forget about it and 15 mins later it's freezing (who designed the ac vents to blow on the cup holder?) _________________ eP007 |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
HAWK21M Member

Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 8132 Location: Mumbai, INDIA
|
Posted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 12:13 pm Post subject: |
|
|
stealthpilot wrote: | [i]
True true ... except the coffee bit. It comes in nice and hot but you forget about it and 15 mins later it's freezing (who designed the ac vents to blow on the cup holder?) |
It was probably for adding cooling to the ice loaded cold drinks cup  _________________ Think of the Brighter side !!! |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
Optimus.Prime Member

Joined: 21 Dec 2009 Posts: 302 Location: VAJJ (No, not Va-Jay-Jay)
|
Posted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 4:43 am Post subject: |
|
|
stealthpilot wrote: | Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently = hahahahahaha
True true ... except the coffee bit. It comes in nice and hot but you forget about it and 15 mins later it's freezing (who designed the ac vents to blow on the cup holder?) |
Perks of the WIDE-body? Instant Cold coffee!
On my a/c the vents don't blow on anything let alone the Cup Holder! _________________ Why can't Donuts be square? |
|
Back to top |
|
 |
|