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malQ

So this is the 5th of a series on the various airlines that fly on my commute, the Delhi-Pune route. I have been at it for eight years now, and probably know every little variation and bump, especially as we cross the rumble strip bits after Nashik and Mumbai en route to Pune. Last night's late evening dinner flight to Pune, on Kingfisher, needs to rank amongst the worst I have encountered. And it wasn't even Kingfisher's fault.

Put it this way, let's get the bad bits away first - a mess-up with reservations which required that I ended up escalating issues, which I hate. Distracted driving by me heading to Delhi airport, which caused an almost accident. Angry demonstrators blocking the road on the way to the Palam, for their demands in Rajasthan. An over-crowded departure Terminal 1-A at Delhi, passengers squabbling with each other to bust the check-in queues. Standing room only at the Kingfisher Lounge, and delayed departures. A crowded aircraft, with a large number of first-time flyers on board. Monsoon skies, which slowed things down in the air. Congestion overhead Mumbai, before we got routed to Pune. Congestion at Pune, so we circled 8 times before landing. New terminal leaking buckets at Pune, and not a single AAI official in sight. Lights out at midnight at this 24x7 airport, with not a single one of the tea or food stalls operating. And finally, once outside, a terrible time with privateers trying to fleece everybody. Especially women and children and families.

Something snapped inside me earlier on 1st of June'07, just past midnight, at Pune's Lohegaon. There were no taxies or autos available, the airport had shut down for the night with passengers from 4 late night flights still disembarking, the AAI staff was snoring, the cops were mystified, and mayhem was afoot. So I called office, and asked for a car. But then I saw the clerk at the taxi counter trying to make deals for people to hire private cars at a rate of 500/- rupees per head for a city drop. I went back in, found the CISF boss, a very pleasant and solid person called Avtar Singh, and soon he took charge of the situation in the absence of anybody from the AAI. Within a few minutes he had the local taxi drivers, who mostly live nearby and are all on mobile phones, report to the airport. We got rid of the taxi counter clerk. Women and children and families first, I made sure I was the last person to leave the airport. I left home in Delhi at 7:30pm and finally reached home in Pune at 2:30 am. 7 hours door-to-door is a record for me, when the average used to be a shade under 4 hours and touches 5 hours nowadays due to congestion everywhere.

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My take:- Kingfisher Airline advertises and promises a premium product, but truth also on this is that my generation grew up on Kingfisher Beer, mainly because it delivered value for money consistently. Without advertising or making any promises. The airline and the beer have both been good to us; Kingfisher Beer has been one of those symbols which end up making us proud to be Indians everywhere. Then, we celebrated our 25th anniversary up in the air thanks to the human spirit that is behind Kingfisher. All said and done, it is a fact that time and money spent on Kingfisher - beer or airline - does leave you with a tingle. And a Thrill.

So, to me, the ultimate in domestic full-service Indian Economy Class flying is represented by the single class configuration available on Kingfisher's Airbus-319s. Reasonable cost, all the frills which make me feel that this airline will be good to even my mother-in-law, and I don't have to walk through Business Class on my way aft. In addition, they use the Airbus-320 family of aircraft and they have IFE.

Best, their Frequent Flyer programme, works for me. I got notched up to Gold when they started. It is not just about the miles and free flights and the gold cards. It is the recognition. And the separate check-in counters. And the total energy that flows from the hearty attitude that the man who owns and runs the airline exudes. No two ways, I am a great fan of Vijay Mallya's. On to the trip report, then.

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Check-in at Delhi is crowded. There are half-a-dozen Kingfisher flights scheduled to take off within a 30 minute time window, and tempers are frayed as most appear to be full. Some passengers are getting nervous, and a squabble breaks out next to me, in three languages. Tamil, Kannada and Telugu battle it out.I know how to abuse in all three languages, I also know one joke each in all three languages, but discretion is the better part of valour so I just mutter to myself in Hindi. In the melee, somebody misplaces his photo identity, or claims to have done so. I get my boarding pass, lounge card and priority tags, give the nice lady a smile as she wades in to try to solve the issues facing the people arguing in queue behind me, and she responds by rolling her very pretty eyebrows in a way that I recall my daughter would do when she was faced with "a situation". For the 'nth time, I wish I was a young man again, so I roll my eyes back at her. She hands me a baggage tag. I was hoping she had put her phone number on it. Or maybe her elder sister's, an aunt's, perhaps?

Since that is not possibe, I head towards the bar where a very classic barman who shares my first name turns a mean trick with Old Monk rum, lime and tonic water. And lots of ice. The real trick is to make two of them, large. Veeresh from the Port Lounge has become an old friend and greets me warmly. We talk about Tumkur. And cars.

Along the long side of the terminal, there is a long row of Indian (Airline) counters. Should be about 50 or 60 of them. About 90% are empty, and there are two solitary delayed IC flights leaving, things are ambling along. Indian more or less shuts down at Delhi domestic departure after 8:30pm, like in the good old days. On the other side, at Departure 1-B, this is peak time till well past midnight as private carriers squeeze in a late evening departure on most every route.

Ours is the last flight to be called, and I like to be the last person to board the bus. This bus is called VT-KFI. I wish Dr. Mallya would name his airplanes after his various brands of booze. Imagine flying inside a bottle of vodka?

Grabbing a few photographs, seated next to two young boys returning from a family holiday to Nainital, Kasauli and some other places, we await take-off. And we keep waiting till 10pm. The ATC loves us, I think. After which we meander through Delhi Airport, people wave at our plane, are they saying something? No. So, we head out Westerly on 27, which means we should save a good 5-10 minutes, by then the whole airplane is immersed in the IFE. There are half a dozen video channels and another half a dozen music. I think Kingfisher got short-changed with their IFE, this is the kind of stuff you found on BA and VS about 15 years ago, none of the "on demand" stuff that we now have as standard with most airlines. Including, and comparisions are essential, on Jet Airways.

There is an open glass of cola service. There is a plastic pouch with two toffees, a ball-pen, cologne tissue and a menu, as well as the red headphones. And then there is dinner. Tonight we are given an excellent Thai chicken curry with rice and veggies, I miss a roti or a roll and butter. The dessert has been deserted by sugar and sits deserted in a purple patch in its cup. And the coffee is, for a change, good. I wonder which brand they use. Or does it really taste better in the rear of the plane? Since I am bored with the IFE, the elements provide me with a lightning show outside, which sometimes touches the wing.

Half-way through the flight, I figure out that the engines have been throttled back, and we are kind of ambling along. Skirting clouds here, low pressure pockets there, we head generally Southish, sometimes South-West, sometimes South-East. True, later we find out that there was major chaos at Mumbai with diversions aplenty, while Pune is packed to capacity too. So we circle overhed Pune. Eight times. For about 40 minutes, I can even see a large number of cars parked in the yard of Tata Motors factory.

By now most people are on edge. The young guys next to me ask shyly for the window seat, I oblige, now both of them want it! I give up. At times like this I wish I was a shopkeeper and got home at latest 8pm every night. Twice in a year I would get on a plane and go to Bangkok. One time with family, one time alone. The cabin crew, as is the nature of things with cabin crew on the last flight of the night, are doing the hither and thither stuff, telling people to straighten this, fold that, and looking to catch and then scold people seeking networks on their mobile phones. This must be a new game. I get bored soI fill one of those feedback forms. These are Delhi base crew who were looking at an overnight layover in party town Pune, and now all they are achieving with quality opportunity is to go round and round over a truck and car factory. The tribulations of youth. I take a few more photos.

At this juncture, I am also wondering, how much extra fuel is there, what is the alternate? I was on a ship crossing the Pacific once, with real bad weather we reached destination in Japan with just about 85 tonnes of oil left. That was close, the ship was a couple of hundred thousand tonnes deadweight, and 85 tonnes of oil would typically see us through less than a day's journey. Here this plane started with 10, maybe 12, tonnes? How these airplane pilots do it has always remained a mystery to me.

Mumbai is overflowing, so does that give us Ahmedabad, or will we end up heading for Nagpur or Jaipur or Hyderabad or what? I voice this out aloud, the young guys next to me are delighted. They want to know if we will get a 5-star hotel? I am feeling good, I tell them we would stay at the Oberois or Taj, for sure. And since we are late, we may get a suite too. With jacuzzi. Soon there are questions in Sindhi and Gujarati being directed at me from all over. Will the food be vegetarian, asks one? You can have vegetarian, I am non-veg, I want Smirnoff, says another. In Ahmedabad, qeries the third? Tame jave Ahmedabad, says the fourth, we will go back to Delhi and we will all have Balaji Express, behind which a good decent God fearing bootlegger is already in position, 24x7.

Eventually, we land, at Lohegaon. Behind a Sahara 737 on a 2-hour delayed turnaround back to Delhi and another Kingfisher A-320 just in from Bangalore. The baggage handlers throw the bags and leave, and suddenly the airport lights have been switched off! Welcome to Pune, like never before. The pretty young ladies from the flight are waiting for their pick-up. One grins at me, and asks me where she could score a sizzler this time of night. I know how she feels. It has been one of those evenings. A good sizzler, and a bottle of Kingfisher.

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As I type this out, I found a packet of Kingfisher after-mints in a shirt pocket, and decided to polish it off. That's about the best in the Indian skies, too. The worst, if you must know, is the salty wierd stuff they serve on Virgin Atlantic which I use for my trips to SFO. I am so going to look forward to flying to San Francisco on Kingfisher.

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Photos are up as usual at http://www.flickr.com/photos/vm2827/

stealthpilot · Member Joined: 19 Dec 2006 Posts: 2325 Location: BLR, DXB

This report was hilarious Very Happy

!

By the way, do you know if KF plans to upgrade to AVOD anytime?
Are all their airbuses going to be upgraded with LiveTV?
_________________
eP007

Nimish · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 2:44 pm Post subject:

Great report - but sounds like the PNQ airport is a disaster, especially at midnight. All the more reason to shut down the whole AAI and it's associated Babudom created mess.

Are you saying that DEL-PNQ flights fly via BOM? That's the part that I did not quite get, won't it be faster to go direct

from great circle mapper there's a 9% increase on flying over BOM on the way from DEL-PNQ

shivendrashukla · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 6:59 pm Post subject:

Great report there as usual. Looking forward to your next trip!!

Cheers
Shivendra

malQ · Posted: Sat Jun 02, 2007 11:41 pm Post subject:

lambuhere1 · Posted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 9:47 am Post subject:

Great Report.

Appears that not only PNQq, but also BOM and all the other airports are not able to handle WEATHER ELEMENTS.

Wonder when they will improve

Ram P

avbuff · Member Joined: 22 Dec 2006 Posts: 5031

great TR ... the DEL airport does look like a chaos in the pics

ameya · Posted: Sat Jun 16, 2007 9:36 pm Post subject:

Read your TR one more time, in print edition of Intelligent Pune