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Letter from a retired Airline pilot to his peers.

 
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iflytb20
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Joined: 27 Jan 2007
Posts: 1073
Location: Next to the Airport

PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 6:57 pm    Post subject: Letter from a retired Airline pilot to his peers. Reply with quote

Wonder if this has been posted before. Tried a search but cam up with nothing. If the mods feel that this is a repeat post, please feel free to delete it.
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Here is a home study simulator course for those who still hunger for the romance and adventure of airline flying. That "Romance and Adventure" will all come back to you if you follow the steps of this "practice trip" at home:

1. Stay out of bed all night.

2. Sit in your most uncomfortable chair, in a closet, for nine or ten hours facing a four foot wide panoramic photo of a flight deck.

3. Have two or three noisy vacuum cleaners on high, out of sight but within hearing distance and operating throughout the night. If a vacuum cleaner fails, do the appropriate restart checklist.

4. Halfway through your nocturnal simulator course, arrange for a bright spotlight to shine directly into your face for two or three hours, simulating flying an eastbound flight into the sunrise.

5. Have bland overcooked food served on a tray midway through the night.

6. Have cold cups of coffee delivered from time to time. Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently.

7. At the time when you must heed nature's call, force yourself to stand outside the bathroom door for at least ten minutes, transferring your weight from leg to leg, easing the discomfort. Don't forget to wear your hat.

8. Leave the closet after the prescribed nine or ten hours, turn on your sprinklers and stand out in the cold and "rain" for twenty minutes, simulating the wait for the crew car.

9. Head for your bedroom, wet and with your suitcase and flight bag. Stand outside the door till your wife gets up and leaves, simulating the wait while the maid makes up the hotel room.

10. When your spouse inquires, "Just what in the hell have you been doing?" just say, "Recalling the allure of all night flying to romantic places." as you collapse into bed.

11. If you are a purist, make this a two-day trip instead of a turn-around, and do this two nights in a row.

Hope you enjoy your sim session.
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HAWK21M
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Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 8120
Location: Mumbai, INDIA

PostPosted: Tue Nov 23, 2010 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not bad......Need to add .....Keep your cellphone off Smile
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stealthpilot
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Joined: 19 Dec 2006
Posts: 2281
Location: BLR, DXB

PostPosted: Sat Nov 27, 2010 2:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently = hahahahahaha

True true ... except the coffee bit. It comes in nice and hot but you forget about it and 15 mins later it's freezing (who designed the ac vents to blow on the cup holder?)
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HAWK21M
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Location: Mumbai, INDIA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 14, 2013 12:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stealthpilot wrote:
[i]
True true ... except the coffee bit. It comes in nice and hot but you forget about it and 15 mins later it's freezing (who designed the ac vents to blow on the cup holder?)


It was probably for adding cooling to the ice loaded cold drinks cup Smile
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Optimus.Prime
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Joined: 21 Dec 2009
Posts: 302
Location: VAJJ (No, not Va-Jay-Jay)

PostPosted: Sat Jan 25, 2014 4:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stealthpilot wrote:
Ask your spouse to slam the door frequently = hahahahahaha

True true ... except the coffee bit. It comes in nice and hot but you forget about it and 15 mins later it's freezing (who designed the ac vents to blow on the cup holder?)


Perks of the WIDE-body? Instant Cold coffee!
On my a/c the vents don't blow on anything let alone the Cup Holder!
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